Franorama

Real estate talk

2007-02-10T10:39:00.000Z

Jeez!!! It looks like Ive finally given that bald corpulent presenter prick from Ficnhley the shake off. What a creep!!!

How you all doing??? Heres something thats been going round the office apart from flu and genital herpes hope you like it. Shouldnt really be giving away trade secrets but what the heck!?!?

WHAT ESTATE AGENTS SAY AND WHAT THEY MEAN

PERIOD: about as comfortable as living with a woman who's getting hers.
QUAINT: like where hobbits live.
TARDIS-LIKE: matchbox on the outside, shoe box on the inside.
CHARACTER: Hannibal Lecter was a character.
HISTORIC SETTING: all surrounding buildings in ruins.
LISTED: either to the left or the right.
RECENTLY EXTENDED: there's a dining table in the garage.
FULLY UPDATED: now has running water.
READY TO MOVE IN: we've cleaned it.
FULLY MODERNISED: we've cleaned the carpets too.
STARTER HOME: but the mould will finish you off.
LUXURY APARTMENTS: should have seen the place before it burnt down.
PRESTIGIOUS LOCATION: no drug dealers, just the occasional arsonist.
NO CHAIN: but you'll need a big one for the front door.
SOUGHT AFTER AREA: the cops are still searching for the crack.
EXCLUSIVE DEVELOPMENT: no one else would build here.
INTERNAL INSPECTION RECOMMENDED: by damp proofers.
EXTENSIVE CELLAR SPACE: Fred and Rosemary used to live here.

XXX Fran

Mini me!!!

2007-01-07T12:53:00.000Z

Roger the big boss has finally given in and hes going to buy us all minis!!! Well how can you be a proper estate agent these days and not have one?? I guess it counts as a Beemer too but not a very big one.

XXX Fran

Slim girl fat

2007-01-02T13:39:00.000Z

God Ive put on about a stone over the holidays must be all that stuffing. My new years resolution is to get down the gym and do more upright jogging this horizontal stuff doesnt burn off the calories as well!!!!

Busy here in the office its always busy in January cos of all those relationship bust-ups over the festive bird, the turkey not me I hasten to add!!!

XXX Fran

New Years Steve

2007-01-01T11:17:00.000Z

Donna had a new years party at her place the star attaction was a paddling pool full of raspberry jelly what a laugh!!! Some of the younger girls got stuck in and had a bit of a wrestle of course the men were in 2-double O-heaven!!! I got talking to a guy named Steve who said he had a 5 Series and a place in Kingsgate, might have to blow Jason out this year!!!!!

XXX Fran

80s night

2006-12-27T14:06:00.000Z

Me and Leese and Donna went down the 80s night at the Broadstairs pavillion last night there were more bouncers than punters what a washout. There werent more than 30 people there most of them looked like they were on pensions.

Leese made me laugh she said it was supposed to be a night of 80s music not a night of music for people in their 80s!!!!

XXX Fran

Bloody jehovah's witnesses

2006-12-23T11:13:00.000Z

Went down Harpers the wine bar in Broadstairs after work with some of the girls. They really need to do something about their toilets or should I say toilet theres only one and the place was rammed. I would have gone in the courtyard if it hadnt been full of guys with their johnsons out relieving themselves on the shrubbery.

Then Jason from work turned up and we had a bit of a pash session well actually a bit more than that hes still here. If it wasnt for some bloody Jehovahs witnesses ringing my bell at 8 oclock in the shitting morning he would have rung mine for the third time!!!!

XXX Fran

Fancy a bit of stuffing???

2006-12-20T19:38:00.000Z

So the toads are at their Dads for Christmas now and theres me lumbered with a 10 pound turkey from Asda. Santa had better turn up in his bright red Beemer and fancy a bit of breast or leg or stuffing or I'm up shit creek!!!

XXX Fran

Office partee!

2006-12-18T11:06:00.000Z

Only just getting over the effects of the office party on Friday. I dont think Leanne will thank me for putting this piccie up here but she was legless and knickerless she really shouldnt have tried the limbo dancing!!!! Its not a good idea to go commando to the office bash!!!

I got to snog Kevin our Regional Manager so that wont have done my promotion chances any harm!

XXX Fran

Not bothered

2006-12-15T10:39:00.000Z

On second thoughts Im not bothered about what Kevin or Mr Creepy says Im going to carry on in my own sweet way. Its a girl's prerogertive to change her mind!!! Is that how you spell prerogertive?

XXX Fran

No more blog

2006-12-07T08:05:00.000Z

Had lunch with Kevin our Regional Manager yesterday he says this blog's got to go. Some guy rang him anonymously to tell him I was a disgrace to the firm, probably the woman-hater who's been calling me a SLUT and BITCH or maybe that gay guy who's got a thing about the word faggot.

Kevin couldnt give a shit about that as I'm one of his best negotiators he'd be more concerned if I gave away any confidential info which I havent. No he's more worried that this person could be one of those creeps who stalks female estate agents like that Mr Kipper and he doesnt want any trouble like having to call the cops but he might have to now this creep knows where I work.

So sorry dudes but I'll leave this up for a few days and then it'll be AMF! Nice knowing you all.

XXX Fran.

Crap men, crap weekend

2006-12-04T10:24:00.000Z

The toads were with their dad this weekend so I went on a bit of a crawl with Leese and the gang on Saturday night there are some really crap men in Thanet! One guy who looked like he'd just been released from some kind of hostel thought it would impress me if he spilt my drink all over me and then offer to buy me another. I told him to stick it.

There must be some decent guys out there I just dont seem to go to the same places they do, or maybe they've all been snapped up already?

A new me!

2006-12-02T09:05:00.000Z

So I've done what any woman would do after all that trauma and had a bit of a makeover. Here's another of those photos Dave took of me he's really rather good although most of the time he takes photos of properties for us at the real estate agents. He can make even the shittiest property look like a million bucks but he's not done that with me I hasten to add I'm the real deal!

I also got Leese to show me how to alter a few things on the blog like make it more like my favourite color Ferrari Red! Ive also added some links to people who've commented here just to show Im a good sport and actually I dont give a damn so you can all kiss my ass!!!

Stalked by some freak

2006-11-30T08:13:00.000Z

What's going on some sad freak calling himself Eastcliffe Richard says we're engaged. All I know is that he's been on my blog a few times and we emailed each other and now he says we're getting married. I haven't even met the little prick all I was interested in was maybe going out for dinner and a drive in his Audi. For all I know he's a faggot.

What is it with these nerdy blogger types they think they can write anything? I just hope nobody I know sees it and if I find out who he is I'm going to tear him a new A hole.

Decisions decisions

2006-11-23T15:08:00.000Z

I'm all confused what should I do. I've had an offer from one of our local millionnaires but there are strings attached. He seems alright but you don't know until you meet them do you, could turn out to be a pig like all the others. I'll call my mum tonight and see what she says, she's always got good advice on affairs of the heart... she's had enough of them!

All Men Are Pigs!

2006-11-22T10:55:00.000Z

Last night was a complete washout, I don't regard a couple of drinks in the Belgian bar followed by a visit to Peters fish factory as being wined and dined, so I told him to forget the 69 bit.

And he turned up in his Poojoe again I don't think it is his mum's I don't think he's got a Beemer at all. I made up some BS about having to get back for the babysitter and jumped in a cab. Swine. There must be some decent guys out there surely, and some of them must drive Mercs!!!!!

Tonight's the night!!!!

2006-11-21T14:39:00.000Z

Tonight I'm going to meet that guy I met in Chruchills on Friday I'm very excited! I'm bunking off work to get my hair done later, a few blonde highlights should do the trick.

He said he'd pick me up from my place about 7.30 and then we'd go on to a restaurant for a meal. Hope he's got the Beemer with him tonight othewise he can forget about any afters but I'm packing a Femidom just in case.

I think I'm in Love!!!!

2006-11-19T16:27:00.000Z

So me and Leese and some of the other girls ended up in Chruchills on Friday night and guess what??? I got chatting to this hunk of spunk who said he owns one of those mansions on the cliff top and has wads of money and a 5 Series Beemer!

We had a bit of a pash, tongues only I'm not the sort of girl to do the full monty on the first date you understand and we arranged to meet again next week as he got into his N reg 205 (he's borrowing his mum's car while his Beemer's in for a service).

Fab or what?!?

TGIF

2006-11-17T08:23:00.000Z

Thank god it's Friday I always look forward to the weekend. I've got tomorrow off but on Sunday I'm doing viewings. I've got a babysitter for tonight so I'll be doing the usual crawl of all the hotspots with the girls, I think we're going to start at Churchills or maybe end up there I'll have to check with Lisa.

Toad 1 and Toad 2 are almost old enough to look after themsleves and they get a bit annoyed these days when Sharon comes round to look after them. I think Toad 1 has secretly got a crush on her because he goes red whenever he sees her.

Yummy Mummy

2006-11-16T09:21:00.000Z

It's a bit quiet here in the office today. I'm so excited though because I've had my first comment on my blog, and I've been to a couple of other blogs and left comments too.

I don't mind it here in the office as I get quite a lot of attention from the 20-something lads who make comments about yummy mummies and women in their dirty thirties although I prefer older men really, preferably with lots of money and of course a Beemer or a Merc. And if he's a property investor looking to market his 5 bed Victorian I'm always more than happy to handle him, especially if he's got a large extension if you know what I mean (what AM I like!!!!)

Extra Bit

2006-11-15T10:32:00.000Z

I forgot to mention, I work in as a negotiator in an estate agents on the island. I'm not allowed to tell you which one as there are all sorts of rules and regulations about that sort of thing these days, but we're doing pretty well.

And the most important thing - I'm single and looking! So if there are any honeys out there who are looking for a nice double-fronted in Ramsgate, or even a two up, two down, let me know!

Hi!

2006-11-15T02:53:00.000Z

I'm new to blogging, but lots of people tell me it's quite easy really, so here goes.

My name is Frances Oapen, but my friends call me Fran. I live in Ramsgate in Kent. I'm thirty-hum-ti-tum years old, and the single mother of two - Toad 1 and Toad 2. My absolute fave colour is red, as you can see in this pic my photographer friend Dave took a couple of years ago.

That's about it really. Look forward to hearing from you all!!!