Real estate talk

Jeez!!! It looks like Ive finally given that bald corpulent presenter prick from Ficnhley the shake off. What a creep!!!

How you all doing??? Heres something thats been going round the office apart from flu and genital herpes hope you like it. Shouldnt really be giving away trade secrets but what the heck!?!?

WHAT ESTATE AGENTS SAY AND WHAT THEY MEAN

PERIOD: about as comfortable as living with a woman who's getting hers.
QUAINT: like where hobbits live.
TARDIS-LIKE: matchbox on the outside, shoe box on the inside.
CHARACTER: Hannibal Lecter was a character.
HISTORIC SETTING: all surrounding buildings in ruins.
LISTED: either to the left or the right.
RECENTLY EXTENDED: there's a dining table in the garage.
FULLY UPDATED: now has running water.
READY TO MOVE IN: we've cleaned it.
FULLY MODERNISED: we've cleaned the carpets too.
STARTER HOME: but the mould will finish you off.
LUXURY APARTMENTS: should have seen the place before it burnt down.
PRESTIGIOUS LOCATION: no drug dealers, just the occasional arsonist.
NO CHAIN: but you'll need a big one for the front door.
SOUGHT AFTER AREA: the cops are still searching for the crack.
EXCLUSIVE DEVELOPMENT: no one else would build here.
INTERNAL INSPECTION RECOMMENDED: by damp proofers.
EXTENSIVE CELLAR SPACE: Fred and Rosemary used to live here.

XXX Fran

Mini me!!!

Roger the big boss has finally given in and hes going to buy us all minis!!! Well how can you be a proper estate agent these days and not have one?? I guess it counts as a Beemer too but not a very big one.

XXX Fran

Slim girl fat

God Ive put on about a stone over the holidays must be all that stuffing. My new years resolution is to get down the gym and do more upright jogging this horizontal stuff doesnt burn off the calories as well!!!!

Busy here in the office its always busy in January cos of all those relationship bust-ups over the festive bird, the turkey not me I hasten to add!!!

XXX Fran

New Years Steve

Donna had a new years party at her place the star attaction was a paddling pool full of raspberry jelly what a laugh!!! Some of the younger girls got stuck in and had a bit of a wrestle of course the men were in 2-double O-heaven!!! I got talking to a guy named Steve who said he had a 5 Series and a place in Kingsgate, might have to blow Jason out this year!!!!!

XXX Fran

80s night

Me and Leese and Donna went down the 80s night at the Broadstairs pavillion last night there were more bouncers than punters what a washout. There werent more than 30 people there most of them looked like they were on pensions.

Leese made me laugh she said it was supposed to be a night of 80s music not a night of music for people in their 80s!!!!

XXX Fran

Bloody jehovah's witnesses

Went down Harpers the wine bar in Broadstairs after work with some of the girls. They really need to do something about their toilets or should I say toilet theres only one and the place was rammed. I would have gone in the courtyard if it hadnt been full of guys with their johnsons out relieving themselves on the shrubbery.

Then Jason from work turned up and we had a bit of a pash session well actually a bit more than that hes still here. If it wasnt for some bloody Jehovahs witnesses ringing my bell at 8 oclock in the shitting morning he would have rung mine for the third time!!!!

XXX Fran

Fancy a bit of stuffing???

So the toads are at their Dads for Christmas now and theres me lumbered with a 10 pound turkey from Asda. Santa had better turn up in his bright red Beemer and fancy a bit of breast or leg or stuffing or I'm up shit creek!!!

XXX Fran